Just some random thoughts on sobriety...

It has been a while, so here goes… 

The past 12 months have been a wild ride to say the least. I was faced with challenges that I could not have ever predicted. 

Prior to sobriety, I would have increased alcohol consumption, decreased sleep and most likely tarnished relationships along the way. I did not do the last 12 months completely “right”, but I did do it with a clear(er) mind. 

Take a look back at previous posts including What “Recovering” Means to Me in reference to eating disorder recovery.

This blog post is just some random thoughts on being a “recovering alcoholic”…

If I had a penny for every time a family member or friend says “but you were never that bad”…

Pete and I just look at each other and remember…

I don’t shame that girl anymore… 

She used it when things got tough, when faced with a challenge, when in doubt.

When waking up on a “vacation”, I would plan the day around when we would drink and what we would drink.

I got in arguments that did not make sense. 

I blamed others for conflict instead of looking inward. 

Getting on my yoga mat didn’t make sense the day after. 

I did not just have one. Or, two.

Do I look at a glass of wine in someone’s hand still and think it looks sexy? Yes. Yes, I do. I am a bit envious of those that look sexy with one glass of wine and can stay that way by just having one. 

I am grateful I can pass breweries now without even thinking about going inside. 

I can’t drink NA beer because it would be a slippery slope. I like the taste too much and would want the real deal. 

I don’t shame anyone that drinks. So, if you are reading this and think I am shaming you…don’t. 

My brother told me once that every alcoholic knows when the last drink is truly the last one. It is true.

August 9th - 8 years ago. I did not even tell Pete. But, I woke up on the 10th and just knew… 

I had sober months prior to that, but when I went back to it - it was worse.